Saturday, February 16, 2008

Slips addendum

I realized today that I made an egregious oversight in yesterday's post on slips. I was listing all the reasons slips are both hot, practical and necessary, and I totally forgot the biggest reason you need to wear a slip.

Which is: how many times have you gone to dinner with your boyfriend's family, only to have his father get all coked out and punch your bf, and so you have to break up with him because he's too busy both dealing with his crazy parents and lusting over you sometime best friend/sometime mortal enemy; and then in order to console your newly single self you go visit your boyfriend's best friend, who occasionally likes to date rape girls and always likes to dress like a dandy, at the burlesque club he just convinced his father to buy, and then he says some nice things and gives you some champagne, and before you know it you're up on stage removing your high-necked, very prim dress to reveal... incredibly sexy slip. We've all been there, right? Lord knows I have, more times than I can count. And if it wasn't for my Valentino slip, I would have had to do amateur burlesque totally naked, which makes it not burlesque but stripping.

Plus, when you're done making those pearls around your neck blush at the impropriety, and you want to lose your virginity with your ex-boyfriend's best friend in the back of his limo, there are so many less sleeves and zippers and clasps to worry about!

And that is why you need to wear a slip under your dresses.

PS: In the photo the professional burlesque dancers look all excited at Blair getting up on stage, but don't you think if this were real life they'd be super pissed some underaged tart is hogging the spotlight and not even wearing a corset?