Glamorous underthings

So, Valentine's Day has come and gone, and all us single girls survived without any visible scarring. Around that time Yes, the weekly fashion supplement of the Arizona Republic, did a spread on lingerie with an Old Hollywood glamour feel. I thought it was pretty good, but they did a poor job on giving information on where to buy everything. So, that's what I'm doing for you. All credit goes to Yes for the photos and styling and whatnot.

This slip is just as glamorous as something designed by Vera Wang should be. Satin and lace short gown, $78, in the color green tea.







Oscar de la Renta blush chemise with black and white polka dots, $68. I love the polka-dots along the hem, too.


















See, the thing that kills me about this shoot is that a lot of the lingerie is so great, but you can't find it online and, uh, there isn't a Dillard's in New York. I don't know if maybe Yes just labeled it wrong, because they claim this is the "Satin Doll" bra and skirt set from Cassandra Intimates, but this is what Dilliards.com has under that name. Sort of similar, but it misses the plaid and fun skirt that totally make the original set. If you like it anyway, the bra is $24, the garter belt is $14, and the g-string is $9.

Another similar option from the same label is the Cosmopolitan set, $26 for the bra and $29 for the skirt. This is a bad lingerie set if you're into wearing pants, though.


Here's another great set that Yes claims is available at Dillards but you can't buy online. I saw a listing for it on a British lingerie website, in a slightly different color, but it's listed as out of stock. Poorly played, Yes. Well, if it was possible to buy it the bra would be 7 pounds and the knickers would be 3 pounds.









Oh, wait you guys! I think I just bought this bra last night from Urban Outfitters, but didn't realize it because they only had it in black. This looks like the same thing, right? Try to ignore the fugly model's greasy hair... The Chatelaine bra is available, in black, for $12.99 at Urban Outfitters.


So, those were the ones from the spread I really liked, and you can see the rest here.

While I'm on the subject of hot underwear, I really want this set from the Gap. You can't really see the details, but the bright pink with white polka-dot parts of the bra and panties are pleated! I'm a sucker for fun details like that. And they both just went on sale. The Pretty Pleated bra is $29.99 and the thong is $6.99.

Anchors Away!

If I could just move into the Gossip Girl wardrobe trailer and make it my new home, I'd be happy. But until then, I have to shamelessly copy the Waldorf and Van der Woodsen style.

Here's Blair in the first episode, meeting Serena for drinks at the Palace and wearing the perfect anchor necklace. It fits perfectly with her preppy style, and the background in the books that she sometimes goes sailing with Nate. I went through a stage a few years ago where I decided to make my new fashion philosophy, "Also be dressed as if you might step onto a yacht at a moment's notice"-- not swimsuits or boardshorts, but lots of navy blue and white and stripes. The whole "Kennedy on holiday" look, you know. I never fully committed to it, but often when I'm shopping I stop and think, "This is such a great sailing outfit." And then I buy it.

But in this post I'm going to concentrate on just one aspect of the sailing wardrobe: the anchor as accessory. Blair's necklace is Alexis Bittar (seen to the right), but I don't think you can buy it online anymore. Luckily, there's Etsy, which has a lot of different styles that are almost all very reasonably priced.



This, the Anchors Away blue bead necklace, $15, might be my favorite for its simple classiness. It has the anchor, the bead, and a little pearl! Also, I think the long chain is a good idea with a chunkier necklace. It's tough, though, because you don't want it to be that length where the pendent gets lodged in your cleavage, but you also don't want to be able to tuck it into your waistband.




Lustrongirl flat shell anchor necklace, $15. The shell looks great as a background for the anchor, and it's very beach appropriate.










Blue anchor turquoise circle necklace, $28
I love this and think the use of turquoise (desert element) with the silver anchor (sea element) is very creative. I worry that the anchors would sort of get lost amongst the bright green of the stones, though.
















Sail Me Away Charm necklace, $10.
This necklace is so cheap! The starfish and seashell in addition to the anchor make it a very fun necklace, but I don't know if you'd be able to make it work in day-to-day New York.













Hello Sailor ring, $17.
So this ring doesn't have an anchor on it. But it is very saucy, and think about how useful it would become during Fleet Week!




Goth anchor ring, $5.95.
I don't know why it's named "Goth," but I think this ring would get you a lot of compliments. Button rings are so fun and crafty.











Little anchor hoop earrings, $18
These earrings are classic enough that they'd go with just about any outfit, but they'd be especially perfect with a short navy blue dress.







Gold photo frame necklace with turquoise pendent and anchor charm, $115
This one is really cool because you can email the seller a photo of your loved one or dog or whatever, and she'll shrink it down, laminate it, and put it in the frame for you. It's the most expensive, and the anchor is kind of an afterthought, but if you were to own a yacht that you really loved you could put that in the frame and carry around your love of sailing with you!










J.Crew anchor charm bracelet, $65
So I'm deviating from the Etsy stores, but I wanted to include as least one bracelet with the necklaces, earrings and rings. This bracelet is good if you're into chunky jewelry and don't care if the charms on your bracelet are sort of really phallic. You know, to each her own.



And if you're not really into jewelry, J.Crew has another option: the Cashmere Glitter-critter tee, originally $148 and now $55.99 if you buy it before February 29th (J.Crew is having one of those 20% off the final sale things). I don't really understand the point of cashmere t-shirts, but you know you can never talk sense with the Crew.

Oscar Fashion Round-Up

I miss Joan Rivers, you guys. But since she's off doing... something, I don't know, we must soldier on without her and do our best to evaluate this year's Oscar gowns.

There weren't any huge disasters this year; I'd say the biggest, no-debate mess was Daniel Day Lewis's wife and her crazy chest brooch. But, you know, she's a civilian and I expect being married to DDL is pretty tough, so we should be kind.






A more high profile miss was Marion Cotillard's Jean Paul Gaultier dress. Scales? On a mermaid dress? As the Fug Girls said so perfectly, she looked like a fish on her wedding day. In general, I disagree with outfits that make women look like animals, which is why I'm almost always against fur and feathers. But let's be honest here: Marion Cotillard is a babe and looks gorgeous from the neck up, and her acceptance speech was so genuine that I have to like her. Plus, did you see the photos of Forest Whitaker hugging her backstage after she won?


Too cute! If these two can't get together in real life, can they do a movie together? Perhaps she can be a French girl who comes to America to study astronomy and he can be the gruff but tender professor who teaches her about the stars... and love. Coming to theaters, Christmas 2010!

The big trend of the night was red, and almost everyone did it well. Anne Hathaway redeemed herself for last year's giant boob bow mess, and Katherine Heigl wore a similar but simpler one-shouldered dress. Neither will land on worst-dressed lists, but let's make a little Venn diagram. If one circle is Anne Hatahway in Marchesa, and the other is Katherine Heigl, then the little space overlapping in the middle is Kate Winslet:

And she, of course, does it better than any starlet with a stylist. Anne's is a better color, her skin is great, and I love the flower detail, but I also think the gathering and draping at the bottom is a little too much. I also am not crazy about her hair and something about her brows frightens me. I also am really jealous of her perfect porcelain skin. Katherine's dress is a bit tomato-y , but the shape compliments her body perfectly, and I really like how the cut out strap is on her shoulder instead of on top. Plus, she's kind of fabulous at red carpet posing. However, it annoyed me when, before presenting her category, she stood at the poduim and said, "Oh my god, you guys, I'm so nervous." First, Katherine, you won an Emmy a few months ago and while this may be your first time at the Oscars, you aren't fresh off the bus from Kansas and should be able to hold it together. Second, this is the Oscars. No one gives a shit how Izzie Stevens feels. This isn't about you, so just present the nominees for best animated short or whatever and then take your leave gracefully. I hate when presenters get all "Me! Me!" on stage, like when Julia Roberts wished her friend happy birthday before announcing a winner a few years back, or when Julia Roberts said, "I love my life," before announcing Denzel Washington as the winner. It's not about you, it's not your night. Cram it.

On the plus side, Julia Roberts didn't show! And neither did Gwyneth Paltrow. So that means I have a lot less fugging to do right now.

But Renee Zellweger did not disappoint. While I can't say her dress was ugly, it did seem a little too similar to Reese Witherspoon's dress when she won for Walk the Line (why wasn't Reese at the Oscars this year?), and also the high slit made it look like a bath towel tied around her torso. But the real problem was her face. And her hair. Mostly her face, which was made worse by her hair. Does she really have no one in her life who'll sit her down and say, "Renee, you really need to stop doing that lip purse thing. I don't know who told you it was flattering, but it's not. It's really, really not."

Back to the red trend. You know I have a soft spot for Miley Cyrus, and I thought she looked lovely and age-appropriate in this long, gown with cap sleeves. I hope that Billy Ray helped her pick it out.










Heidi Klum... well, she's a supermodel. she's gonna look good in anything and everything. But the half-inner tube around her neck was just too much for me.












But I'm going to go ahead and say that Helen Mirran has the best red dress of the night. Perfect shape, perfect color, great sleeves, gorgeous hair and makeup. She's the motherfucking queen for a reason.

I really like Amy Adams, and I think she's looks great, and if I were president I would pass a law making every redhead wear green gowns to the Oscars. But-- I think Proenza Schouler was the wrong choice. Their trademark bodices are original, sure, but they don't have the timeless glamour you want in an Oscar dress. She should have gone with another designer.

I like Saoirse Ronan's dress, also. It was a little more fun and girly than Miley's dress, and I like to think that Saoirse choose the color to show her Irish pride.









Too bad Ellen Page's stylist wasn't as good. I'm ok with the makeup, and I even think that the long necklace works, but the dress was a bad choice. She may be a tomboy but she has a great shape and she's 21. Why does she have to hide in that shapeless thing? Plus, the flapper-inspired look almost never works, and Ellen Page is not going to be the one in a hundred who manages to pull it off. But at least she wasn't wearing Converse and a hoodie, I guess.


You know, I feel like the top of Jessica Alba's dress could have been a touch more refined... but she's gorgeous, she's glowing, she's pregnant, she's rocking the braids without looking like a milkmaid, and that's a great color. Jessica Alba always looks like she knows what she's doing at award shows, and for that I have to give her props.

Tilda Swinton almost never looks like she knows what she's doing at award shows, but that's why we like her. What else can I say about her black velvet sack and her face/brain?







Cate Blanchett is, as always, the great divider in our apartment. Danielle thinks everything she does is divine, I think everything she does is a mess. This... isn't awful. But the necklace attached to the dress and the weird metallic things on the hum means she doesn't get to be in the Best Dressed column.

There was a lot of bad hair this year. Jennifer Garner modeled the "I have to go pick up my kid from day care and I was running late so didn't have time to grab a bobby pin!" look, and Cameron Diaz does her customary "Oh, you know, I'm just going to hit the gym and then run some errands" hair thing. But Calista Flockhart was the worst of them all. Her hair said, "Oh, I guess it's Sunday and since I'm too lazy to shower I might as well scrub the bathtub. Where's my scrunchie?" Sure, Harrison looks like he just rolled out of bed, too, but he's a legend and you're arm candy. Brush your hair.























Speaking of arm candy... Clooney, when are you gonna stop slumming with the Fear Factor robot and date someone who deserves you? I'm gonna give her a little credit and say that the dress might look gorgeous in person, but on TV it looks like overpriced wrapping paper. I want to give a shout-out to the Twop live blog, where someone joked, "Clooney's like, can we get this ceremony over already? My date has homework and it's a schoolnight."


I know this won't be an opinion shared by many, but I think my favorite dress of the night was James McAvoy's wife's. I'm usually not into dresses with lots of tiers and ruffles, and it has a bow-like thing on the bust, but it all just works! And let's consider that she's there as a wife, not a nominee or presenter or famous person in her own right. So it's appropriate that her dress isn't hogging the spotlight, but it's not dowdy or boring at all. It's fresh, and her hair looks great (she should give Renee Zellweger the name of her stylist!), and I don't think anyone else was wearing that color. I like it so much I'm going to look up her name: Anne-Marie Duff. If only she had made her husband shave, she'd be the queen of the Oscars.

Oscar wear

Today's the most important day of the calendar year, and you need a t-shirt to celebrate it appropriately.

I Drink Your Milkshake shirt, $18.99. The product description:
"Here at 24/7 Magnum, we're a family business. Our shirts are designed by my illegitimate son—and partner—H.W. Magnum, and education of the young is our primary concern, immediately after draining any untapped oil reserves. And we promise you that if you have a milkshake, and we have a milkshake, we will NOT run a straw from our milkshake to your milkshake, thereby drinking your milkshake as well. Because milkshake theft is not what families are all about. "

Friend-o tshirt, $18.99. From the description: "It's an affordable way to separate friendo from moocho, and goes with any haircut."




This Atonement box is pretty awful and tacky, but I guess there isn't a huge demand for Atonement wear right now. It's $28 and looks like something your little sister might make.















Also, if you have $10,000 dollars lying around, you can bid on a charity auction for the sublime green dress Kiera Knightley wore in that movie.





For all my homeskillets, you can buy the Dancing Elk Condors t-shirt, $25.65, worn by Michael Cera on the poster and as part of his track uniform.



















Another Juno option is a working Hamburger phone, $15.99, to schedule all your abortions on. Finally, if you want to really show your love for Juno, there's the Empathy Belly! Not only will it give you a fun new shape to stretch your t-shirts over, but it also simulates over 20 symptoms of pregnancy: fetal kicking, weight gain, bladder pressure, backaches, fatigue and irritability!



Finding swag for Michael Clayton is kind of tough... you could be a total creeper and buy a sketchbook with a photo of kiddie Cloons' and his sister on the front for $6.50.

Or you could remember that freezing February day two years ago when I was wandering around Tribeca and saw George Clooney filming this movie, and as he walked to his trailer he looked at me and said, "Woo, it's cold!" And it was so cold and he was so hot that I couldn't do anything but giggle like an idiot. Next time I go Clooney stalking I'll wear one of those crazy warm North Face coats, like the Nuptse Jacket, $199.

Some self-pimping: you can find my Oscar Predictions here. Everyone enjoy the show and I'll be back tomorrow to discuss what monstrosity Cate Blanchett wore!