Crazy Good Sale at Barneys New York

The one upside to this whole apocalyptic recession/economic crisis/we're all going to the poor house thing is that it seems like every major retailer is freaking out, too. They're doing everything short of giving their clothes away for free in order to convince customers to buy there clothes; every day, I get bombarded with emails that scream 30% off! Free shipping! $20 off your purchase! The clothing world's panic is the shopping world's gain, I say. Take, for instance, Barneys, a department store whose website I never even browse because I know it's all out of my league. But they are having an incredible sale right-- I'm talking slashing hundreds of dollars off the price. Here are a few (well, more than a few) of things that are suddenly a lot closer to my price range:

I know Velvet for their dresses at Anthropologie, which are always simple but impeccably designed, with super soft fabric. That same easy-to-wear yet classy vibe is evident in their Odelia Dress, $49 (formerly $152). The criss-cross fabric on the bodice is both flirty and flattering, and I'm currently obsessed with any color of green that is close to "peacock", even if Barneys is calling this teal.

$89 is a lot to pay for a belt, in my opinion, but this Eugenia Kim Skinny Tiger Belt, formerly $185, is way too fierce not to be included. I'm dying to wear this over a simple black cardigan to make a "Don't mess with me" statement. Then I'd want to wear the black patent version over a pretty light pink dress, and the hunter green version with jeans and a tucked-in, perfectly tailored button down. You just can't go wrong with a brass tiger belt buckle.

These next two Splendid dresses are very similar, and both marked down from $149 to $49. The Floral Tank Dress, left, is the sort of dress that you can throw on and it'll float you through an idyllic summer's day. The subtle floral print gives it a vintage vibe, and the shape is universally flattering. The Waterlily Dress, right, is a little bit dressed up with the darker color and cap sleeves. This one is more appropriate for fall or winter (with a lot of layering). I particularly love the bit of pleating at the empire waist and sleeves, as it adds sophistication to a fairly casual dress.



Also from Splendid, this purple and navy open cardigan is formerly $79, now $19--that's like Old Navy pricing! It also comes in cream/navy stripes and charcoal/navy, both of which are a bit prison uniform for me. This purple version is nicely grown up take on stripes, and the open front is very relaxed and bohemian. I'd want to take it to work and leave it in my desk for those mornings when the air conditioner is on full blast, right on top of my head.


Speaking of work attire, Theory's Bi-Color Dress, $89 (formerly $295) is as chic as office wear gets. The classic high-waisted skirt combined with a boldly colored top is a guaranteed head turner, but it's smartly demure enough to stay business casual appropriate. Plus, pockets!


If you're going out at night and you want to bring your A-game, you could do a lot worse than this light green Ella Moss Smocked Dress, $99 (formerly $319). The beautiful silk fabric means guaranteed sexiness, and the gathered waist and shoulders give it a distinct goddess vibe. Plus, smocking means there's a little give, so you can get dessert and not worry about your dress showing off your food baby.


I am desperately lusting after this Ella Moss Faux Wrap Dress, $49 (used to be $166), which also comes in blue with black/brown and black with orangeish red/brown. I'm digging the plum/marina/black combination for its unpretentious elegance and how totally comfortable its shape looks. I also like how it's a faux wrap dress, because when I wear real wrap dresses a breeze always comes along to expose way too much of my upper thighs to the world.


If you're not totally broke by now, there are a few more options over the $100 mark. For instance, I gasped when I saw Marc by Marc Jacobs paillete heels for $109, marked down from $445. The silver peep-toes and the gold pumps are both fabulous beyond words and perfect for the holidays. But, to be honest, the paillete-covered shoes I'm really going crazy for are these Miu Miu Mary-Janes, $349 (marked down from $865, but still). I could write sonnets to that scalloped heel cap and peek-a-boo layered toe covering--it's like synchronized swimmer meets Vegas showgirl, with a hint of sexy librarian. Marry me, Miu Miu!






Ok, fantasy over, back to more practical clothes. This Co-Op Barneys double-breasted coat, $239 (formerly $398) might be cute enough to make me stop praying for spring to arrive. The double-breasted cut and waist sash is reminiscent of a classic trench coat, but the turquoise color (almost peacock!), bracelet sleeves, and wool fabric makes it more Jackie O than Carmen Sandiego. It also comes in black, but c'mon: always go for the green.


I love pleats, even if I'm constantly scared of ruining them: there's something so pleasingly ordered and prim about pleats, plus it's super fun to spin around so they spread out. This Rag & Bone Pleated Dress, $299 (formerly $495) has that exact "I'm so together that even my dress doesn't dare get out of arrangement" look that I love with pleats. Plus, the slightly scooped neckline and black accents on the waist and shoulders are pleasingly grown-up, skillfully avoiding the possible "Catholic schoolgirl in a pleated skirt" connotations.

As I was contemplating pleats, I stumbled upon this Accordion Pleat Dress by Barneys New York. It isn't on sale, it is by no means a steal or a deal, but I was so taken with its mint green silk, pleated so precisely, and its gorgeous cream ribbon belt that I had to include it. I always wanted to ask the crowd what the heck is up with this mannequin's weird conehead. All I want to do is wear this dress to a spring wedding at the Plaza, and then drink too much champagane and disgrace the pleats by sloppily making out with a groomsmen in the coat check room. Is that too much to ask for? Oh yeah, and the price: $1,295. Ouch.


I want to finish with this Prada Royal Calf Rosette Clutch, marked down from $1,060 to $319. If I'm doing my math right, and I'm probably not because I haven't taken a math class since high school, that's 70% off! Sure, $319 is still a lot for an envelope sized piece of leather-- but it's calf leather, lined with satin, with perfectly formed rosettes, in a color they call "mirtillo," which I think is maybe Italian for blueberry. If I owned this, I would love it so much I'd sleep with it under my pillow at night.

Holiday Gift Ideas

Mindy Kaling, our patron saint of shopping and blogging, wrote about holiday gift ideas in her latest post. I really wanted to make her line, "To be even be considered a tastemaker in any small sense is a great compliment to a vapid person whose priorities are all wrong" my officer status in the Mindy Kaling Facebook group, but it was too long. So I had to settle for making it my FB status, but then I got called a douche by one of my roommates. He interpreted the quote as me criticizing vapid people whose priorities are all wrong, when I am OBVIOUSLY one of those vapid people whose priorities are all wrong, and proud of it. So, in conclusion, I'm sharing some of my picks for great holiday gifts in hopes that someone will consider me a tastemaker.

I'm a huge advocate of giving books as gifts, and not only because my future livelihood depends on the continuing relevance of the publishing industry. Besides that, giving books to friends and loved ones makes both the giver and receiver feel smart, like you're feeding their mind in addition to their insatiable desire for free shit.

If I was participating in an office Secret Santa or Yankee Swap, I'd get Malcolm Gladwell's new book, Outliers: The Story of Success, $15.39 on Amazon. Blink and The Tipping Point were phenomenons, and this book, which examines why some people become successful while others never reach their full potential, will undoubtedly be a bestseller as well. Outliers is one of those books that you could give to just about anyone over the age of 25 (who graduated from college and has a job, probably) and they'll say, "Oh, I've heard about this book! Thanks!" It's a great generic present for someone you don't know very well, or dads who are practically impossible to shop for.

For the younger or hipper person on your Christmas list, I'd recommend John Roston's Sleeveface, $11.16. This really cool book features photos of people holding record covers over their faces and trying to recreate the world of the album with their clothes, pose, and surroundings. I guarantee, give this to someone and everyone else will ask, "Can I see it for a second?" and then spend the next thirty minutes flipping through each page.

This next book is a tie-in of How I Met Your Mother, but I swear it's hilarious even if the giftee has never seen the show (maybe you should give them DVDs of the first and second season as well!). The Bro Code, by Barney Stinson, lists the rules all Bros must live their lives by, such as "Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool" and "A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless it's out of state or, like, crazy expensive: Crazy expensive bail >(Years You've Been Bros) x $100." A Bro gave this to me for my birthday, and I make sure to study it every day to ensure that my status as a female bro isn't revoked by doing something laughing when a guy gets hit in the groin (exception: if I don't know the guy). Also: "A Bro is under no obligation to open a door for anyone. If women insist on having their own professional basketball league, then they can open their own doors. Honestly, they're not that heavy."

If you're giving gifts to anyone who has their life together to have matching dishware, then disregard this next suggestion. If you're giving gifts to a young person who is no longer living with their parents but has yet to experience the bliss of a wedding gift registry, then they'll undoubtedly be thrilled to receive some cool plates or glasses. Check out these hyper-classy InsideOut Champagne Flutes, $60, from Charles & Marie. No more drinking champagne out of paper cups! Perfect present for whoever is hosting your New Year's Eve party. There are also martini and liqueur versions that are equally badass.

If you take a more irreverent view of drinking, try these Slang Pint Glasses from Urban Outfitters, $8 each. Both the "Hot Mess" and "Lush" glasses would be particularly appropriate if you're wondering what to get me for Crunk-mas.

And if you really wanted to give a theme gift, throw in this Garter and Flask set, $28 and ring bottle opener, $8.

Plates are fantastic gifts for college students as well, because it allows them to put off doing the dishes. These UO 8 inch porcelain plates feature artsy prints and patterns, and for $6 a piece I'm tempted to get all seven designs.


I'm not sure why, but I'm sort of obsessed with passport covers. I really wish I had gotten one for myself before I studied abroad, because now if I get one for myself I'll just get depressed at how local my life is. But if you have a friend with a big trip in her future and an appreciation for M.I.A., give her the Paper Airplane Passport Wallet, $16 at Fred Flare.

More gift ideas to come in the next few days! Stay tuned.

Purple pt 2: Sweaters and Accessories

I want to prove that my obsession with purple extends beyond dresses, so here are some more purple options if you're not ready to commit to knee-to-neckline purple.

The Amanda cardigan, $28 at Lulu, maintains a fine balance between sophisticated and sporty. The front corners are extended, so you can wrap it around your waist ballet-style or maybe belt it, and the sheer fabric makes it really versatile as the seasons change. My favorite thing about it, however, is the subtle stripes of lighter purple that give it a very vintage, lived-in vibe.


This Free People Turtleneck, $59, has its own unique spin on stripes: skinny lines of lime break up the solid purple top, making it seem very "hippest girl in a college town." I also like how the "turtleneck" is more of a very slight cowl neck, so you get the interesting neckline but not the prudish, overheated and stiff effect turtlenecks sometimes give off. The tunic length is so cozy, too.

I forgot to include this in the purple dresses post, but since it fits my stripes theme I think it's alright to include it. The Puella Port Striped Tunic Dress, $125, is so effortlessly flirty and feminine. The two shades of purple compliment each other perfectly, and the vertical stripes on the off-the-shoulder neckline prevent the dress from getting too prison uniform. I'm obsessed with the open neckline, actually; I'd love to wear this with my hair in a loose bun at the nape of my neck for maximum hotness.

Now onto the purple accessories! The Crush Purse in Purple by Melie Bianco, $79 strikes me as a bit "sophisticated European traveler who is maybe sort of trashy but otherwise so much fun." The gold hardware gives it a super-luxe look, and the roomy interior and long strap are super practical. I like how simple the shape is-- it makes it the perfect fit for a fun royal purple.


The Bamboo Blackberry Raspberry Knotty Toe Flat, $20, is a straight-up adorable take on the basic ballet flat. The twisted faux-leather over the toe gives it extra interest, although with such a great plum color you don't really need it.

Purple Dresses

Second only to my obsession with gold this season is my new love of purple. I used to dismiss purple as an overly girly, cloying sort of color, but now I've embraced it as a lush, chic way to wear color during the winter. I mean, I love me some black, grey and navy, but purple is ten times more fun and eye-catching. And you know what? It goes great with gold.

Last night, at my friend's annual Secret Santa party, both me and my seriously styling friend Madelyn wore purple, ruffley dresses. Ruffles can be a tough trend to pull off, but I think we did it with panache. Madelyn wore Gap's V-Neck Ruffle Dress in Mauve, now way on-sale (and still available in most sizes!) for $25.99. The ruffle down the front is very festive and flirty, and in person the color is a bit more subdued and mature. A nice contrast, I think. I want to warn, however, that when I tried this dress on in the store it was freaking huge on me, so order a size or two down if you get it online. Seriously, in my experience it runs very, very big (but the small size will make you feel so skinny!).

I wore a dress from last winter's Erin Fetherston for Target collection, which I bought off Ebay on a lark after the clothes left stores. It arrived, I tried it on, and knew, "Damn, I am never going to wear this." It doesn't even look good on this stick-thin model, who is freaking me out with her superfake wig and doll-like expression. It doesn't help that she looks a bit hunched over and this photo is shot from, I think, a lower angle than is flattering. Anyway, when I put on the dress, I looked like a clunky present that's been wrapped far too intricately. So it's hung in my closet for months and months, until one day this fall i decided to solve the problem of the Erin Fetherston ruffle dress-- basically, I needed to make a waist. Belting created weird problems with bits of fabric poking up and coming lose, and a ribbon was far too cheesy. But then I started messing with my cardigans, and found a long, dark grey cardi with three little buttons at the empire waist (so it hangs open below) that I bought at some H&M type Eurotrash store in Luxembourg. The serious, curve-highlighting sweater perfectly tempered the dress's flaws, but I felt a bit too fancy when I wore the outfit to class with boots and tights. However, when I wore it last night, I felt perfectly festive and right at home with the other carefully wrapped gifts.

Moving on from my personal adventures in learning how to dress myself... here's a gown that I would die to own. Designed by Diane Von Furstenburg, who is pretty much the coolest woman alive, the Purple Niki Dress, $649, is glamorous beyond belief. The deep purple is appropriately elegant, and proof that purple isn't just for little girls. The woven halter in front and low back are sexy but not at all trashy, and I can't imagine anyone putting this dress on and not feeling legendarily gorgeous. Sigh. I want it.


Here's a more modern way to wear purple: from Black Halo, the Pleated Mini Dress, $325, is simple but decidedly chic. The color is a little more muted than I usually take my purple, but I love the pleats falling from the belted waist (SO flattering) and the bustier top. The sheer straps are a nice, demure touch, too. I would wear this, in my fantasy world, to the opening of a new exhibit at my city's modern art museum, and then prepare myself to be told that I'm way more interesting to look at than anything in a frame.

I complained that the last dress was too muted, and I have to note that this dress might be too vibrant. The Bella James Violet Rossette Dress, $88, is not for wallflowers. But the eye-catching color and relaxed design make it a bit more casual, so you could wear this to the movies or hanging out with friends. The fabric flower on the shoulder, however, adds a nice touch and elevates the dress beyond similar but generic jersey tank dresses.


So I know that this dress looks like navy in the photo, but the description swears it's actually plum. And, if you squint a little bit, you can see how it might be purple in real life. From Lulu's, the Arm Candy Dress is just $36-- perfect for a college student with a budget and a hot date. The asymmetrically draped front is very fashion-forward, in a classical Greek sort of way, and the ruffled straps add a sense of fun (and let you get away with wearing a regular bra underneath). Factor in the nicely short length, and that's a lot of hotness for $36.


From Modcloth, the Plum Blossom Party Dress, $67.99, has a simple and youthful shape, but done in an awesome brocade fabric. Brocade is one of those fabrics that is only really appropriate in the winter months--it's way too stiff and heavy for summer. But at a Christmas party, brocade looks fabulously festive and shiny. With tights and a cardigan, this dress would go over swimmingly at a family get-together or religious service, but it would also work for a party with friends.

Cropped Sleeve Coats

Almost two months ago, a lovely reader by the name of Sarah requested a post on coats with cropped sleeves. I said to myself, "Yeah, I think I can put that together by Halloween," but I obviously failed. I hope, Sarah, that you live someplace where it's still warm enough to wear cropped sleeve coats-- if it isn't, then spring is just around the corner (please don't burst my bubble by saying otherwise). In a way, it's good that I waited, because many of these coats have been reduced from their original prices, because, you know, it's December.

The Gap has a nice selection of impractical-yet-cute outerwear this season. There's this belted coat, $69.99, which is available in a fabulously deep purple as well as a classic navy. I like the buttons on the chest, and with 70% wool content, it'll be warm enough to compensate for your chilly forearms. The tartan plaid version of the same coat is a bit more at $94.99, but I like the rugged fabric paired with a feminine shape. Finally, this Gap peacoat is more short-sleeve, $54.99, than crop-sleeve, but it seems like the perfect thing to throw on on one of those in-between weather days.







Lulu is a shopping site I recently discovered through one of the Lucky Mag shopping blogs, and I'm intrigued by their trendy pieces and very friendly prices, minus the trashiness of a Forever 21. This Fame and Fortune Coat in red, $64, is sophisticated enough for a full-grown woman but could also be easily carried off by a young adult with the right attitude. I adore the fact that the thin patent belt is included, since it really pulls the look together. I'd love to wear this like the model is: with a simple but swinging mod-type dress, and bare arms. It also comes in royal blue (ugh, I hate when shopping sites don't list the different colors of the same product together, so you get all invested in a purple dress before going back to the main page and seeing that it also comes in an adorable shade of hunter green, and it's a surprise Sophie's Choice. I hate being shocked by tough decisions). Other coats from Lulu's that I like: The She's a Vamp trenchcoat, $80 (the gold buttons!) and the Breezy Tuesday Overcoat, $88, (the oversized cargo pockets are badass).







I know I just called F21 trashy, but that won't stop me from checking out their selection of coats with 3 quarter sleeves. After all, it probably makes more sense to invest in a thick, full length coat that you'll wear for multiple seasons, and spend less money on a really fun, trendier coat with cropped sleeves. Like this chic black and white Foliage Silhouette Coat, $39.80. The print could be overwhelming, especially with the double-breasted design, but I think the thick belt helps break it up and keep it eye-catching without being headache-inducing. A simpler, more casual option would be this Hooded 3Q Wool Coat, $49.90. I am the biggest fan of faux-fur hoods, because they allow you to have attend impromptu costume parties-- just throw the hood up and you're an adorable eskimo!


From ModCloth, the Little Plaid Riding Hood Coat, $79.99, hits the sweet spot between being simple enough to be used a canvas for your extra special accessories, and stylish enough to be perfectly cute on its own. The back features a faux-cape; combine it with the velvet-covered buttons and empire waist belt, and you'll feel like a Disney heroine.

The Lola y Maria boutique features this Cropped Navy Lady Coat, for 75% off it's original $300 price: it's just $87.50. With it's cropped length and hook closure, it's really more of a cardigan than a coat. But I'm enamoured with the awesome fabric: a navy textured jacquard shot through with strands of subtle gold. It would look so glamorous as a shrug over a nice holiday dress!


Finally, this is the cropped sleeve coat I would buy if money were no object: the Alice + Olivia Sophia Jacket, $440. Check out the how perfectly the yellow accents compliment the greyish-purple fabric, how the spread collar and hidden button snaps give it a thrown-on feel, how the belt and the crazy cape sleeves make you look like you might have wings... I adore it all. Typical A+O.



So, again, Sarah, I'm sorry it took me forever and a day to get to your request! I hope this was helpful! Anyone else who wants to shout out a request, I will have a lot more time starting next week (woohoo, Christmas break!) and promise to put all my online shopping resources at your disposal.

Argyle solves my academic woes

Despite plenty of evidence to the contrary, not to mention common sense, I'm choosing to believe that the one thing I need to write three papers in a week is this "Straight A in Gray Sweater," $25:

It's so preppy! So collegiate! So "I'm smart and can just churn out 15 pages on Flannery O'Connor without breaking a sweat!"

Gifts from Urban Outfitters

Plenty of websites have gift guides, but I'm loving Urban Outfitters in particular. UO is always a pretty good place to get gifts, because they have plenty of crap you would never buy for yourself but is fun to give to others. Like Magic 8 Balls! The UO gift guide organizes itself by personality labels, like "The Hibernator" (lots of cozy scarves and slippers) and "The Scholar" (SAT words shower curtains and a necklace with a monocle). Here are some of my favorites from each category:

The Scholar:
The "Around the World Illuminated Globe," $98, is a little expensive for a gift for a casual friend, but how excited would your slightly nerdy friend be to get this? Globes are very practical when you are sick of life and want to move somewhere random, so you spin the globe and promise to go to wherever your finger stops it (I usually land in the ocean, which is good, because I LOVE Atlantis!). And this globe is extra special, because when you plug it in it lights up. Could be the perfect gift for a geography enthusiasts who is afraid of the dark. Although, to be honest, I'd much rather have an outdated globe from a flea market that has the USSR and other countries that no longer exist. Even better if it has Pangaea!


The Traveler:
I'd be sort of pissed if I traveled somewhere with the Lomo Fisheye Camera, $48, and came back to realize all my photos were distorted almost beyond recognizability. But if I was feeling artsy-fartsy, I'd be totally into the 170 degree circular view! This would make a spectacular present if you included extra film and maybe a gift card to someplace to get the photos developed.


The Hibernator:
Sometimes I wish I lived on a real college campus so I could wear moccasins to class. Unfortunately, my half-hour trek on the city streets would tear up the soft microsuede of these Stitched Moccasin Slipper, $18, in a day. Anyway, I'm totally stealing this gift idea from my roommate's girlfriend, and also the friend of mine who visited over Thanksgiving and wanted to shop for moccasins. While these are women's shoes (they have a cute little bow on the toe!), guys apparently are in favor of receiving them as gifts too! Luckily, UO sells both a hard sole, $40, and soft sole, $36, version.


The Audiophile:
I definitely want new ear buds for my iPod this Christmas, and these definitely do not fit the bill. The Giant Earbud Speakers, $40, are a triumph of style over substance: I'm sure the sound quality sucks, and you wouldn't be able to prop these up in any convenient way... but the shape is hilarious and awesome! Sort of surrealist and all together very witty. Other good gifts for Audiophiles are whimsically shaped zip drives and books in the 33 1/3 series.


The Party Girl:
I would never really recommend giving someone shoes as a gift, unless they send you a link saying, "I want this in a 7.5 in red." But I am in love with the kinky playfulness of the Dolce Vita Birdcage Heel, $148. I'd feel like an Italian Screen Siren in these heels, and the colored suede (they're available in maroon as well as teal) make them less in-your-face dominatrix.


The Smart Dresser
If you know a guy who at all into fashion, or at least willing to try new things, you can't do better than giving a sweet hat. This Marled Feodora, $28, is a classic shape in fun tweed colors. Worn ironically or sincerely, it'll make your favorite dude look super sharp.


The Narcissist
Perfect, right? How to Start Your Own Country, by Erwin S. Strauss, $12.95, offers five distinct methods for becoming kind of The United Democratic Republic of You (the more words you include invoking freedom, the stricter your dictatorship can be!). Such a practical gift! Just be sure that the person you're giving this book too hasn't seen this gift guide, because no one likes to be thought of as a narcissist (on the other hand, maybe narcissist are just excited to learn that you're thinking of them enough to give them a label).

This last gift isn't from their guide, but I think it would make a great present for someone who dreams of moving to the big city.
The NYC Skyline Pillowcase Set, $24, (did you get my "dreams" pun? Didja?) features all the iconic New York landmarks, and I think we're far enough from 9/11 now that it doesn't bum people out to see the skyline with the Twin Towers. I have to nitpick, though, that the placement of the Statue of Liberty, Brooklyn Bridge, and the rest all seems geographically impossible to me. First, where are all the Wall Street buildings right at the Seaport? Second, you'd have to be on Manhattan looking south to have a chance of seeing Lady Liberty and the bridge at the same time. Anyway, there's also a San Francisco Skyline set if your receiver is more of a West Coast person.