On the Boardwalk

I'm a big fan of creative names for clothes, and a perfectly titled item of clothing gives me that extra excuse to buy it. This dress is way out of my price range, but the Stella Boardwalk Dress, $277, is so exactly suited to strolling along the shore on the 4th of July, eating cotton candy on the way to see the freak show, that I love it anyway.
I'm usually not a fan of denim being used for anything but jeans and miniskirts, but I'll make an exception for this dress. The very light wash keeps the dress from being overly heavy, and the red buttons and seams? Freaking genius. I also love those slightly weird flaps on the neckline, because they give the dress an interesting retro twist. Throw this dress on with a pair of red heels and in seconds you'll be the pin-up calendar girl for the month of July!

Men's Watches

In case you're wondering, I do take requests. I may take a few weeks to get around to it, but if you ask for some men's watches then I will find you some men's watches.

Personally, I'm a huge fan of digital watches. I've worn them for so long that I've basically forgotten how to read the hands of an analog clock-- well, I know how to do it, but I'm usually too lazy to sit and figure out what numbers the hands are pointing to and what that means. Digital watches will tell you the time instantaneously, and to the very second. Plus, I'm a big fan of the light-up display, timers, alarms, and other gadgets that are on most digital watches.

From Timex, this Ironman Triathlon 30-Lap watch, $50, is a perfectly basic sporty watch. You can wear it to the gym, don't have to take it off when you shower, and the dark grey colors won't attract any negative attention. But it's pretty boring, right?

The Ironman Triathlon 50-Lap Sleek watch, $70, upgrades the same essential features with a face that reminds me of a superhero costume. Is costume the right word? Should I say uniform? I need to brush up on all my superhero terminology before I go see Iron Man, The Dark Knight, The Incredible Hulk, and The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (their superpowers are in a pair of magical jeans!).

The non-sleek Ironman Triathlon 50-Lap (Timex isn't very good at naming their watches), $80, looks pretty standard, if a little reminiscent of a tank, until you see that it has a pair of hands on top of the digital display. That's so ridiculously pointless and stupid that I can't help but love it! I guess part of the reasoning is that you can set them to different time zones, if, for instance, you do a lot of business with people in Japan and find addition too complicated. Sidenote: I've always been fascinated by how all the watches sold on the Timex website are set to the same date and time. I like to think that there was a team of designers spending years debating which time is most aesthetically pleasing and therefore more likely to sell watches.

My last digital watch, from Kenneth Cole, definitely has analog envy. It could be good, though, because from a distance you won't be able to tell this is a digital watch. I also like the band (leather with nylon inserts), which I think would make this more fitting than the plastic watches for more formal occasions, and yet still make it comfortable enough for everyday wear and maybe even working out. The Stop Me Now watch (see, KC is better with names) is $95.

Alright, so although I think digital watches are the best invention ever, let's be honest: if you want to be thought of as a man of taste, class and sophistication, you have to wear an analog. Digitals are for guys, analogs are for men. Do you think James Bond wore a digital watch? No, he wore an analog that also had some sort of laser designed to undress women (sorry, I couldn't find that exact watch so you'll have to undress women the old-fashioned way, with your teeth).

I feel that I should say a few words about price. I don't think that, as a college student, you need to spend hundreds of dollars on a watch. You don't need Swiss-engineered precision or a ruby encrusted face or anything platinum, do you? Sure, it'd be a great to have a watch that'll last your entire lifetime, but there's a good chance that the watch you love at 21 isn't going to be the watch you love at 41. So I say, don't spend more than $200 at the very most, and save the super luxe watch for the future. That way, you can either a) buy it for yourself when you get that big raise and corner office, or b) let your rather uncreative fiancee buy it for you as a wedding present, with something like "I'm yours for all time," or "Our love is timeless," or "Every minute spend together is heaven" engraved on the back.

The Dress Watch with Bracelet Strap, $60, looks a lot more expensive than it is. I love the navy blue face against the stainless steel frame and band-- it says, "I'm serious, but I'm not boring. I'll finish these PTS reports for you, but then we're going to go out for happy hour. I may also be engaging in some light embezzlement, but you don't need to worry about it."

At first, the only reason I picked this watch was because the green color reminded me of how, yesterday, I saw someone waiting at the bus stop wearing a green sweatshirt with the hood up, and I thought it was Tim so I started to wave, and then realized it was actually a girl. But beyond the potential for Tim and that girl to match their watch to their hoodies, I think the Expedition Rugged Field watch, $70, is a very young, outdoors-y take on what could be a serious watch. The white hands on the dark green face, the steel frame with leather strap-- I find the unexpected combinations really fun. And if you're still not convinced, according to Timex, extreme outdoor adventurists like Conrad Anker wears this type of watch! The drawback, though, is that you really can't pull this sort of watch off when you're older than 25 or 26. If you work at Google or Pixar, maybe, but if you work in a law office than you're going to need to ditch the green watch.

I don't know whether I actually like this watch, but I felt it was necessary to include a rectangular faced watch. From Kenneth Cole, the Croc-Embossed Leather Strap Watch, $85, is sort of pleasing in its simplicity. I don't like watches without numbers, though; the worst fucking watches in the world are the super-minimalist ones without any notches at all, so if someone asks what time it is you have to say, "Well, it's some time between 3:15 or 3:30. Or maybe it's 4:20. I'm not really sure. Let me check my cell phone."

This Fossil Multifunction Sport watch, $95, is kind of intimidatingly monochromatic. All that silver-- it's a little much, but you'll never had any problems matching it (unless you wear a lot of gold chains).

I'm in love with the partially exposed inner clockworks on the Multifunction Twist watch, $115, also from Fossil. Sure, you could argue that all the different dials and hands make this watch a bit confusing to read, but it looks so cool! It's so intricately crafted, in sort of an old-fashioned way. I also like the understated brown leather band; it's very unpretentious.

But add a few inches to that band, and it becomes a rather pretentious wrist cuff. But still, this Diesel Leather Band Watch, $120, does well with its trendiness. The oversized steel face frame is very attention grabbing, and I like dark navy face as well. I think this could be a good watch for going out on weekends, when you want to look good but not like you're trying too hard.

Or, if you like the look of the cuff but don't want to commit to it full time, you can get the GUESS Men's Copper Dial Interchangeable Bracelet Watch Box Set, $95.00. I think this is genius (I'm a fan of all reversible or convertible or otherwise changeable clothing or accessories, because then I can justify spending more money on it). You can wear the silver band to work, then switch the face into the leather cuff for after hours. And the rectangular face is so classic that it'll look good with either band.

The Kenneth Cole Just a Second watch, $149.99, is somehow both a bit feminine and a bit grandfatherly. But those qualities are exactly what I always look for in potential hook-ups, so I think this watch is sweet. The multi-colored numbers and notches are especially interesting.


The Fossil White Twist watch, $125, is pretty cool with the blue accents on the silver, but let's take a closer look at those smaller dials. Is that right dial maybe supposed to be military time, with the 24 hour clock? And maybe the big middle dial is for the day of the month, although I don't know how that'll work out in months with 31 or 28 days. The left dial, though, is a mystery. Could it be a compass bearings? No wait, I just realized that the second number was 15, not 75, so that dial has to be counting seconds, minutes, or hours. But... isn't that what the main dial is for? Is this a backup watch inside your watch? So odd.

I won't lie, online shopping for watches is not that exciting. It's not as bad as shopping for men's jackets, but it's still rather a snore. But occasionally I'll come across a watch so ugly that it makes me remember why the internet is the best invention ever.

Inspired, I guess, by Jerry Garcia, this Coppertone Printed Dial Watch, $35.99, is undeniably fugly from the first glance. But, if you can stomach it, look a little closer.

Faces! Little creepy faces of the damned on your watch!

How to be a Domestic Goddess

I'm signing up for the Cult of True Womanhood, hardcore, if it means I get to go shopping in the home section of Anthropologie.

1. The Apron
How badly do I wish this was a dress? I would totally wear it if it wasn't backless. But since it's not a dress, I'll be forced to cook and bake constantly just to get to put it on. Can't you just imagine me, in this Georgia Apron, $32, pulling a sheet of sugar cookies out of the oven?

2. Curtains
You might say, oh, blinds are more practical. But every true domestic goddess must have at least a few sets of fantastic curtains in her home, just in case she has to either fashion a dress for herself in order to visit a charming rogue in jail and convince him to give her money to save Tara, or to fashion a set of outfits for 6 Austrian brats (I wouldn't make any clothes for Gretl, though, because she's useless) in which they will be able to flee from Nazis. Am I right? I think these Spiral Vine curtains, $98, in green and ochre, would be perfect for either situation.

3. The Soap Dish
I'll know I've made it as a lady when I have guest towels and fancy soap that I'll put out when company comes, and then yell at my henpecked husband for using and getting all wet. And then I'll know I've really, really made it when I have different sets of guest towels and fancy soap for each season and holiday. This'll be my "spring" soap dish, post-St. Patrick's Day and pre-Cinco de Mayo. The Rouen soap dish is $16, and also comes in green with peacocks!

4. The Garden Pot
I can't decide whether I'll grow flowers or spices in this pot. It'd be great to be able to tell my dinner guests, "Yes, I seasoned this with oregano fresh from my garden," but also, I really like looking at tulips and I would be able to say, "Yes, I made this centerpiece with flowers fresh from my garden." That's why I'll need two Shadow Vines Garden Pots, $248.

5. Candlesticks
I want candlesticks that make people ask, "Are these heirlooms?" or "Did you find these at some great flea market?" or "Did you pick these up on your travels across the globe?" And I'll say yes, and hope they don't get the Anthropologie catalog. These glass Sarzana candlesticks are $18 each.

6. The Fainting Sofa
I'm going to need this whenever my children do something shocking, like leave the house without their bonnets tied, and I'll start swooning from shock and have to lie down until someone gets my smelling salts. Or, alternatively, I can lie on it in my fur trimmed sheer robe and silk chemise while a boy in a toga hand feeds me grapes. The Antoinette Fainting Sofa is $575, and I'm breaking my Anthropologie theme (this is from Urban Outfitters) just because this sofa is awesome.



Now I just need to learn how to cook, sew, clean and garden. Luckily, I already know how to light a candle (I'm titling my memoir I was a Child Pyro) and lie around on a sofa (the sequel to my memoir will be called God I Love Naps).

Rich Dress, Poor Dress

I mentioned before how impressed I get at "Splurge and Save" features, because I imagine it would be hard to find two extremely similar items at two very different price points. But now I'm seeing that if you spend enough time online shopping, you're bound to stumble upon a copycat or two. I've been "researching" for an upcoming post on LWD (little white dresses), and I had a little deja vu moment.

First, the rich dress, from J.Crew: Paillette T-shirt Dress, $595:


















I won't lie, I think it's fabulous. It's just a perfectly casual silhouette, but the allover palliettes catapult it into another dimension of awesomeness. Imagine wearing this to an upscale bar or a fancy summer soirée: from the second you walk in, all eyes will be on you. It's definitely too much for the daytime, I think, since there's a chance that direct sunlight on this dress will cause such a bright reflection all your admirers will be struck temporarily blind. But at night, the dress would catch a beam from a streetlight and you'd look like a modern day urban angel.

On the other hand, it's almost $600.

Enter the poor dress, from Target: Isaac Mizrahi Sequin Tunic Dress, $59.99




















It's a smidge different from the J.Crew dress: sleeveless, wider neckline, maybe a bit shorter with less of an A-line flare, and made of polyester instead of silk georgette. And I'm sure the sparkle off the sequins is a little less luxurious, and you'd probably be forever noticing that a cluster on the hem is about to fall off. But it's 1/10th of the price, so suck on that, J.Crew.

Which do you guys prefer? And is there anyway to justify paying that much for a dress when you know that an almost-as-good twin is available for so much less?

Robes

So in just a few short weeks I won't be living with Danielle anymore, putting an end to a glorious semester filled with Vogue and Lucky, Sex and the City and Gossip Girl, Britney Spears and Beyonce, and almost daily sessions of, "Want to see what I bought?" "Yeah, go try it on!" It's maybe been the girliest four months of life, and I've adored it.

Just the other day I had an internship interview, and after freaking out about what I was going to wear and buying a $100 top at Anthropologie, Danielle helped me put together an outfit from clothes I already owned. I bought the top knowing that there was about a 98% I would return it; I was even willing to do the tackiest thing in the world, wear it, keep the tags on, and then return it. I've never done that, because I believe that it's one of those things that is just Not Done in polite society, like applying your makeup in public or smacking your child in front of company. Sure, you can argue that returning a top you wore once makes no difference to a mega-store like Anthropologie, but I think about how pissed I would be to find out that the top I bought, which I thought was brand new, had already been worn (and not washed) by a total stranger. Sure, there's no way I'd find that information out, but it's still the principle of the thing.

Here's the Anthropologie top I bought (and returned unworn!) in my fit of stress-induced shopping insanity. The La Rosarie tieback, $98, is certainly cute, but if I'm paying almost a hundred bucks for a shirt it better also be able to blow dry my hair for me or something. This one didn't even fit: the empire waist part hit above 3 inches too high, right across my boobs, and the bottom portion was so loose I could have been 6 months pregnant and still worn it (although, if I was 6 months pregnant my boobs definitely would not have fit). This is both the top's fault and mine, but I can at least defend myself by saying that there was a really long line for the dressing rooms and I didn't want to have to go get a different size and wait another 15 minutes to try it on.

This entry has sort of gotten off track. My point is this: in three weeks I'll no longer be able to flit around in various states of undress, because I'm going to be living with (gasp!) boys. Sure, they may not care if I want to spend an entire Sunday bumming around the apartment in the lacy slip I wore under my dress the night before (and was either too lazy or too drunk to take off and find real pajamas), but I care. And so, a certain amount of wardrobe revision is needed with this new living situation. What I've taken four paragraphs to say is, I need a robe.

I have a bathrobe that's really thick and heavy, basically a towel with sleeves. It's like 6 years old but I love it and I love putting it on after a shower so I don't have to get dressed right away. but it's so bulky that I never really want to put it on other than post-shower; if I tried to slip it on over pajamas I think the fabrics would get all twisted and uncomfortable. So what I want is a cute, light robe that I can throw on whenever I need a little extra coverage. There was one at Gap Body this summer that would have been perfect: really soft jersey material with thick stripes of navy blue and gold. I saw it and through, "This is something you would see on Greek," and I didn't even watch Greek then (do you guys watch Greek, on ABC Family? I highly recommend it, especially if you're actually in a sorority or fraternity). It just had a very collegiate vibe, which I dig. But unfortunately that robe is long gone, and Gap Body only has these rather boring short jersey robes, $39.50. I think I can do better.

Victoria's Secret has the Cozy Little Things short robe, $29.50, which could be cute. I would get it in a light blue and white stripe, since that's more my style than pink polka dots. But I'm worried that it's so fuzzy that it would be hot to wear it in the summer. In the winter it's more likely I'll be wearing sweatpants and hoodies around the apartment, so there's less of a need to protect my honor.

I like this Gilligan & O'Malley Eyelet Robe, $19.99, from Target. It's pretty simple, but the eyelet details on the sleeves are very sweet and feminine. I'm a little unsure about the bright white color, though; I don't want to be wearing it while cooking breakfast and get it stained egg yellow. On the other hand, it's cotton, so it'll be super easy to wash. But on the other, other hand, it would probably be see-through. Boo.

Oh man, I'd be so into this Hearts and Skulls robe, $24.99, also from Target, if only it weren't so cartoon-y. Some seriously menacing skulls alongside some seriously sweet hearts? That'd be great. But this print reminds me of Tom and Jerry, which is not what I'm looking for.

Speaking of fun prints, I'm sort of in love with this Nick and Nora robe, $21.99, in "Summer Cocktails." I'm guessing that, living with three guys, there'll be more beer drinking than appletini (light on the 'tini) sipping, but with robe I can feel like a Cosmopolitan drinking woman anyway. The print's a little busy, though, and I don't want to look like a walking drink menu.

From the same line, there's the Strawberries robe, $21.99. The full body shot isn't wow-worthy, but the close-up of the print might be. I love the little hand, and the lips are especially whimsical. Doesn't this seem like a great girlie summer robe? Too bad it only comes in an X or XX Large on the Target website.


In searching for robes I found this Oscar de la Renta "Expressions" chemise, $66, that I sort of want. I'd feel like the prettiest ballerina at the Nutcracker Ball while I'm sleeping! See, this is the exactly the sort of thing I want to be wearing under my robe.




I like this Old Navy Lightweight robe, $24.50, and it's "ballet slipper" pink so it would fit the theme. I like the short sleeves, and the cropped length might not be overly short. Pockets are also an essential quality of my dream robe. It kind of looks like the kind of robe you get in the hospital, though, right? There's something vaguely sickly about it.



Is this satin robe too "aging housewife desperate to prove she's still got It", or is it actually pretty cute? From Jones New York, this robe, $54, looks super smooth and slinky, and while I'm not huge into florals I'd be willling to give it a shot. You can't really see it in the photo, but there's a strip of pleated blue fabric at the end of the sleeves, which is a fun detail.

Oh, man, I want a ruby red cashmere robe. But this Arlotta ruffle robe is $215.99, and thus too much for something I'll never wear outside. Plus, a dry clean only robe is dumb.

Gossip Girl Returns!

It's been so long since there's been a new Gossip Girl episode that I can hardly remember: is this the show with the fugly cast wearing full-length prairie dresses and unibrows? Or is this the show with the ridiculously hot cast wearing tights and headbands and plaid skirts?
Ah, yes. Now I remember.

So in honor of the triumphant return of Blair and Serena, I thought I'd do a post of my favorite outfits thus far. I already wrote about a bunch, so click on the Gossip Girl tag at the bottom of this post if you want to revisit Serena's leather jackets, Blair's slip, and a few more.

Let's start with Serena, the "I rolled out of bed five minutes ago and threw this on and I look amazing, but you can't hate me because you're shocked into silence by the glory of my hair" sort of girl. She always manages to make her private school uniform casual, comfortable, yet totally hot. These over-the-knee gray suede boots, which I believe are from Chinese Laundry, deftly avoid the "Pretty Woman" association and seem totally appropriate for a young woman.

I could make a "Kate Moss called, she wants her style back" joke, but that's a lame joke and Serena is rocking this sequin minidress, by Tori Burch, as hard as any supermodel. No man stands a chance against Serena in this dress.

She's like a fricking wood nymph goddess creature, right? This dress could be too "I sell jewelry in New Mexico," but on Serena it's the perfect choice for the girl who has to attend an Upper East Side brunch, but isn't going to like it.




Now here's a few photos of Serena and Blair together. I love seeing them side-by-side to see how perfectly each's style fits their personality. I love the cityscape on the bottom of Serena's Vena Cava dress, and Blair's Lorick (the designer behind all the fake Eleanor Waldorf clothes) dress is so classy yet fun with the navy on yellow fabric. In case you're wondering, in this photo they're pretending to be tigers. Roar.





After that photo shoot goes awry, Blair and Serena have their own with more Lorick dresses. The belts around the waist, a little higher than the back of the dress so it lies on the skin, are the exact right touch to make these (probably tough to wear) dresses work. Also, I love this scene because it really fits the Blair/Serena friendship that was shown in the books; how, when they were getting along, they were in their own little world of adventure and fun and no consequences.

I know that the degree of freedom these girls have in their school uniforms is totally unrealistic, but that doesn't mean I can't wish I went to private school so I could wear Serena's Nanette Lepore cardigan or Blair's hilarious- yet-awesome bright red tights. I know that in real life I would wear neither over-the-knee socks or tights under formal shorts, but these girls are completely pulling off their respective outfits.

Serena hears "shopping in SoHo" and thinks jeans, tank, and whatever accessories are on top of her dresser. Blair hears the same and spends 2 hours deciding which shade of black tights best matches her dress, and wondering if the white headband and oxfords would be too much (and eventually deciding that no, they're just enough). And this is why I adore Blair.


She's even fierce when she's hanging around the house in her delicates! I would kill for this lingerie set, and to be as confident as she is wearing it.

Here's another example of what Blair considers casual wear. This Stetis dress (is it a romper? It might, but I'll let it slide) is deliciously over the top for a sleepover, with the cascading ruffles tiers. And instead of going simple to let the dress hog the spotlight, Blair piles on some chunky black necklaces and makes her outfit that much more interesting.

Here's a classic Blair take on UES school girl, with the vest, button down and skirt. It's both perfectly proper and "I will fuck you up if you step out of line." Again, why I love Blair.

Back at school, Blair does argyle in a totally different way. A Lamb cardigan with a sequined argyle pattern down the front and the sleeves? I love it! It's such a funky take on what can be a staid pattern. Plus, the ruffled shirt layered underneath counteracts the glitter and makes a bit "hot librarian."

I love this outfit because I see it and think, "I could put that together and pull that off." So, no, it's not the most off-the-radar fabulous outfit Blair's ever worn, but it is very classic and I adore that plaid Fremont coat.







This might be my favorite Blair fashion moment. It's Thanksgiving, and Blair goes all out with a Marc Jacobs dress, Trina Turk capelet, and Wolford tights. She looks like the most exquisite little doll, so pretty I can barely stand it. You go, baby vamp!




Gossip Girl returns tonight on the CW at 8pm Eastern. I can't wait to tune in and see what these crazy bitches are wearing now. If I missed any of your favorite outfits, or if you want to yell at me for giving no love to Jenny, that's what the comments are for. And if you want more GG fashion, the Gossip Girl Style livejournal community and this InStyle photo gallery are good places to start. You know you love me, XOXO.