Wrapped in Plaid

I think I found my new go-to summer work dress. You know, for when it's 86 degrees and completely muggy, and the thought of wearing pants makes you want to crawl inside your fridge and hide from the world.

It's casual, yes, but I think it's just dressy enough to pass at the office (especially on Fridays). Since Target has the worst models in the world, it looks really unflattering and bulky, but I swear the Converse One Star Ruffle Sleeve Dress, $27.99, is actually very flattering towards your curves. I felt a little Sofia Vergara (Gloria from Modern Family and, for my money, the hottest woman on TV right now) in this dress--wrap dresses are famous for creating the perfect hourglass figure. And what I love about this dress is that the wrap portion isn't too meager; the two sides overlap enough so that if a breeze comes and blows up the top portion, the bottom portion will still keep you covered. I tend to favor the faux-wrap dress for this reason (and I always wear a slip, just to be prepared for when I walk over subway grates), but this dress has the benefit of being totally adjustable. I also dig the tiered ruffles at the bottom, which keep this from being just another plaid dress.

While at Target I also tried this dress from the Zac Posen collaboration. FYI, the Atlantic Terminal Target in Brooklyn had a surprisingly good selection of Zac Posen stuff, and a lot of sizes, but it was a bit weird because they didn't have the words Zac Posen on any of the displays. I'm going to make a wild guess and say that they sold out, took down the promotional stuff, and then unexpectedly got another shipment. Not that it benefited me, because the dress I was hoping to score didn't fit right in either a medium or large.
The Snap Tape Dress, $69.99, just wasn't flattering to my boobs in either size, and with that neckline, you have to make sure your decolletage looks its best.
If it were cheaper I might have done that really, really stupid girl thing of buying something that doesn't fit but telling yourself, "I can totally lose enough weight to zip this up in a few weeks!" But I don't plan going up or down a cup size, so, alas, I had to leave without it. I just wish there was some stretch to the fabric--instead, it's a very unstretchy polyester that reminds me a bit of a raincoat, but it works for the design. Sigh. I love the "sailor by day, dominatrix by night" associations of this dress. Maybe in a few months I'll add it to my regular Ebay search rotation, along with a Proenza Schouler for Target dress (the aqua and white palm tree one) and a Vena Cava for Gap dress (the zip-up tank dress; for some reason, the other dress they did pops up on Ebay every day, but the zip dress is much more elusive).

Amanda Seyfriend and Zac Posen

Amanda Seyfried has officially replaced Rachel McAdams as the celebrity I most wish I looked like. Sorry Rachel--you're still gorgeous, and you made a real run at regaining your title in that sublime Oscar dress.......which reminded me of a Barbie I had with a dress inspired by Monet's waterlilies (I used to be really into collecting the fancy Barbies, and would get a new one every Christmas. My favorite was the one with Eliza Doolittle's white racetrack dress from My Fair Lady, because it had a ginormous hat that reminded me of Kate Winslet in the opening of Titanic). On Oscar night, Rachel McAdams completed topped Amanda Seyfried's cake-icing gown, but besides that, it's been a while since anything Rachel McAdams wore made me go, "Ugh, why is she so perfect? (I hear she does car commercials in Japan. One time she punched me in the face. It was awesome.)

Amanda Seyfried, on the other hand, makes me react like that every time I see her, and I can pretty much guarantee that I will go see Letters to Juliet just so I can ogle her shiny, shiny hair (I'm also interested to see her stick her whole fist in her mouth and predict the weather with her breasts, two things that I don't think she does in that movie). And I've had an old issue of Vogue sitting on my desk for a week, open to this page, just to remind myself that perfection is possible:
So gorgeous, right? She's perfectly walking the line between classic and fresh--she has the loose screen siren girls and curvy figure, but looks clean-faced and wholesome. It's like when you see photos of Dita von Teese and think, "She looks amazing, but not quite human..." but here Amanda took that over-the-top look and translated it into an everyday, just hanging at Coney Island outfit. I adored it even more when I saw photos of the dress online. On Amanda, it looks like a staple of your fantasy wardrobe. On this model, it looks like something you'd see at a thrift store and think, "Oh man, if only this were a little less weird..."
Those sleeves! Why are those sleeves ripped open?! It ruins everything for me, because it's one of those really unnecessary designer-y things. It doesn't help that the model has very strange proportions--her neck, in particular, is freaking me out. I should mention that this dress is from Zac Posen's new lower-priced collection, Z Spoke. Of course, "lower-priced" is relative, as this Silk Polka Dot Flared Dress is $495, and then it'll be an extra $15 bucks or so to get your tailor to fix those god awful sleeves. The solid version is a little less offensive to my eyes, since it's in a gorgeous merlot red.

In the Vogue article that the Amanda Seyfried photo is from, Zac Posen does a lot of patting himself on the back for having this new "affordable" line. But it's such a joke, just like every "Steal of the Month" feature. A 500 dollar dress is not affordable! It's not a steal! In New York, it's half a month's rent; in Phoenix, it's 2 months rent. I know that complaining about how Vogue is out of touch with the real world is as old as complaining about bad weather, but I still see red when I read, "Posen is keen to come up with prices that won't break the bank ($78 to a bit over $600). 'T-shirts at T-shirt prices' is how he puts it." Zac Posen obviously hasn't been to a Gap ever in his life, because T-shirt prices should be somewhere between $20 and $30 (if you're too impatient to wait for that v-neck to go on sale). This Z spoke t-shirt--cotton, jersey, and ugly as sin--is $98.

But hey, Zac Posen is doing a collection for Target that comes out on April 25th, and hope springs eternal! Sure, his pieces seem to be at a higher price point that previous Target collaborations, but maybe that'll translate into higher quality. I'm intrigued in a few dresses, but as always, I won't know until I see them in person if they're hideous or awesome. This first dress is so weird that it just might work--it's like sailor meets punk:
And this dress is just pure glam fun:

Wow, this post meandered a bit. Shall we bring it all back with a final appreciation of the late Lily Cane's perfect hair?