Peacock in Water

Of all the retailers to hear my call for more peacock prints, J.Crew was the last one I'd expect to actually come through. But then I saw...
Plume print bikini top, $39.99. It looks like the bikini bottoms are sold out, which is no fun--this isn't the sort of swimsuit that's improved with some mixing and matching. The print is inspired by Liberty of London, obviously, is about as classy as "Peacock-print bikini" can get.

Family-friendly Swimsuits

So I'm going on vacation next week, to my family reunion in upstate New York. After a few days shuttling around to places like the Edelweiss and Bob-o-Link Hill, a good chunk of my extended family is heading to a local lake and renting two neighboring cottages. The water will be just feet away, and while it isn't an ocean (my body of water of choice), I'm still looking forward to swimming as much as possible.

Naturally, I want a new swimsuit; naturally, I don't really need one. I have a reliable stable of mix-and-match bikinis and a nice Speedo one-piece for swimming workouts, and for the last year they've been gathering dust in my closet. It is very possible, baring any trips to Coney Island or Jones Beach in the next month, that this trip will be the only time I wear a swimsuit until next summer.

But that isn't going to stop me from checking out my options. Here's what I need: a swimsuit that's cute but very PG-rated. Besides my parents, there will be aunts, uncles, cousins, second-cousins--none of whom are within 10 years of my age. There is no one there I need to worry about impressing, and no one there is interested in seeing my cleavage. But that doesn't mean I need to be a total matron.

I really love this red one-piece from Mossimo, $19.99 at Target. It's adorable and flirty, so I could definitely wear it if I ever went to the beach with my friends. The color is bombshell but the cut is modest, which is a nice compromise between my dualing instincts to show-off or hide.

This J.Crew Watercolor Stripe halter top, $19.99, and bottom, $29.99, shows a little more skin, but I think the sweet pink and white color scheme makes it more tame. It makes me think of the bikini your babysitter would wear when she'd take you to the pool, and you'd just dream about the day when you'll turn 16 and be able to look just like her in a cute swimsuit. Unfortunately, the top is only available in x-small and small, and the bottom is only available in large and x-large. Never have I wished to be pear-shaped so badly.

Back to Target: Converse One Star has a great sporty swimsuit that's on clearance. In Federal Blue, the tankini is $13.98 and the bottoms are $11.88. I'm a big fan of water sports, and this swimsuit will stay in place for many games of Marco Polo or a long kayak ride. The boyshort cut of the bottoms is adorable in a tomboy way, and the white piping gives it my beloved nautical vibe.

Ok, so this photo makes it hard to tell if this bikini is the right choice for a family lake vacation; I'm leaning towards no, but I'm including it anyway because it's a freaking cute suit. From Victoria's Secret, the Beach Sexy Striped adjustable triangle top is $13 and the bottom is $14. Any swimsuit that involves actual knots to stay on is usually not good for being low-key, and the adjustable aspect of the top (you can tie it was a halter, around the neck, or a bandeau, around the back--this is great when you're trying to avoid tan lines) makes me think it's not going to stay in place when I'm having a splash war with a 10 year old. But the stripes, the cut-out rings, the big hip bow: I can't resist that sort of easy, sporty glamor.

Almost as essential as the swimsuit is the cover-up. J.Crew to the rescue! I can throw on this Linen Getaway dress, $29.99, over my damp swimsuit, and sit around roasting marshmallows until bedtime. It's loose, soft, effortless--the only problem is that I'll want to wear it when I'm back in the city, and that'll bring up a whole undergarment dilemma of its own.

Topshop in NY

Topshop is opening it's first US store on April 2nd, and the women of New York are collectively losing their shit in anticipation. I'm no different; there's a Topshop van driving around downtown Manhattan and Brooklyn, giving away free tote bags, some of which have gift cards, and I've made it my mission to find the van. Last night, I was at dinner when I saw, through the window, the Topshop van drive by. I literally left the table to run outside and chase the fan all the way around the block-- but I didn't catch it. There's a GPS tracker online, but it isn't be updated very often, and I know that I'm only going to stumble upon it when I stop looking for it.

Anyway, I'm not sure if all this hype over Topshop will be worth it. While it's a big deal in the UK for its trendy clothes at low prices, the exchange rate doesn't make it a bargain for us Americans. While I've never seen the clothing in person and am not an expert, I have a feeling the clothes will be the same level of quality and style as H&M, but at a higher price point.

For example, this Print Empire Frill Dress is 100% cotton, machine washable, cute but not groundbreaking-- it would be under $20 at Forever 21. At Topshop, it's $70 and I doubt it's worth it.

But that doesn't mean I won't be coverting all their adorable sundresses, like this Broderie Tie Dress, $80 (for $80 bucks, this better not be sheer). The flirty eyelet fabric and thin waist tie equal a perfect white summer dress. Add a pair of stand-out wedges in a bright hue like green or blue, and enjoy the sun.

This Pleat Tie Waist Dress, $110 (yeah, right), is a great choice for a day-into-night look. The demure pleated top works for a casual office, and the sophisticated color and short length makes it hot enough for a night out. Sidenote: I also really like how on the Topshop website, they divide their dresses into three categories: Sundresses, Day Dresses, and Going Out Dresses. What other kinds of dresses do you need, right?

I'd be willing to pay a bit more for coats, although this Puff Sleeve Coat is too impractical for $110. And yet, it's undeniably charming, with a light mint color (so fresh for spring!) and dress-like coat. I wonder why a 100% cotton dress needs to be dry-cleaned, though.

I got a pair of gold sandals from Target last summer, and they are close to falling completely apart. These HARRY Plaited Two Part Sandals, $32, might be the perfect replacement. I don't know why these are so reasonably priced, since they're 100% leather and have a quality cushioned footbed and low heel, but I'm not complaining about it. No question, these are the sort of shoes you reach for day after day once the weather hits 75 degrees. And also, I like how they're not super-trendy or overly-gladiator; they won't look dated by 2010 but they're also not boring. Well done, Topshop.

Earlier today, my friend Madelyn and I were talking about how it's always awkward to take a purse to concerts, because it falls off your shoulder and hits the person next to you and makes dancing awkward, and the solution is a hip, small-ish cross-body bag. This Leather Stud Detail Bag, $55, has a nice long strap and a perfectly sized body, with some badass studs and a subtle brown leather color. Exactly what I need.

I love the idea of getting luggage from Topshop, and I can't quite explain why. Part of it is that buying British luggage is as chic as it gets, and part of it is that no one would expect you to buy luggage from Topshop. Another part is that this SILVER SNAKESKIN AND ARGYLE!! The Snake Patchwork Trolley, $145, is the fiercest thing I've ever seen-- it's so awesome that I would get excited to go to the baggage claim and get my hot luggage.


Growing up in Arizona, I became a bit anti-turquoise because there were about fifty shops in Old Town Scottsdale that sold ugly turquoise jewelry to tourists. But now I appreciate how bright and whimsical turquoise jewelry can be. Case in point: this Facet Stone Flower Ring, $25. This would go fabulously with the white dress from the beginning of the post, and the brown leather cross-body bag.

I own a few nightgowns, but I tend to sleep in pajama shorts from Old Navy (circa 2001) and giant t-shirts from sleepaway camp. However, I love the idea of being a classy lady and sleeping in a whole pajama set, like this Pintuck French Knicker, $20 (knickers, you guys! So much more fun than boxers!), camisole, $36, and bed jacket, $44. Ok, the bed jacket might be a little too precious for me, but the whole set--in light peach with adorable little bows throughout-- is what I imagine Marie Antoinette would wear if she were transplanted into the 21st century.

If I were the sort of person who could spend $145 on a swimsuit top, this is the one I'd get: the Fleur T Dotty Frill Balconette is hot as hell but not a smidge trashy. Boobs of all shapes and sizes look good in this style bikini top (probably because it's basically a fancy bra that you can get wet), but the polka dot print with gingham trim is totally Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island-- so wholesome that you don't realize how badly Gilligan wants to get in your swimsuit bottoms.


From the sale section: Bright red Tartan Tights, $10? Paging Blair Waldorf! I don't imagine that the NY store will have a sale section for at least a few months, which is too bad-- there's some major price slashing going on at the website, and I approve.


But let's be honest: Topshop fever wouldn't be half as strong without the Kate Moss Factor. Sometimes she looks like a hot mess, and who knows how much designing she actually does, but we all want a piece of her effortless and original, always imitated never duplicated, style. Her spring/summer line won't be out until April 2nd, but they have a little preview on the website with these pieces.
The black dress on the far left is 80's but not kitschy-- perfect for the Downtown It Girl. The gold dress next to it is my favorite, and I covet it beyond words. I'm also loving the blue w/ red flowers camisole on the right. Kate Moss worked with Liberty Art Fabrics, which is famous for its iconic prints, which tend to be whimsical yet distinctly British. Can't wait to brave the crowds of aggressively stylish New York women to get a look at these pieces in person on April 2nd!

Oh yeah, and they give a 10% discount to students, so don't forget to bring your college ID! And if you're not in New York, the website has a flat shipping rate of $15-- pretty reasonable.

Retro Swimsuits

I really hate those one-piece swimsuits that have less fabric than a regular bikini. All those cutouts and keyholes leave really weird tan lines and leave all your lady parts in rather precarious positions. Like this monstrosity, $30.99, from Victoria's Secret. If you're going to show that much skin, just wear a bikini, and then you won't have to get totally naked when you visit the ladies' room!

And what is this? You can't play beach volleyball in this, the bathing suit version of the infamous green J.Lo dress! And I'm willing to bet that double-stick tape does not work underwater.

Also, monokini is a really stupid word.

A much better option is the retro one piece! Mindy Kaling posted a few of her favorite one-pieces a year ago; as always, the rest of the world takes a while to catch up to her fashion genius. Also, I feel like this topic is particularly relevant because Mary Louise Parker is plastered all over the city in those Weeds ads, looking totally pin-up hot in a retro swimsuit. Also, this post is about swimsuits, but her shoes are ridiculously awesome and I want them.

Let's start with one of my favorites, from the seller Miss Brache on etsy. She custom makes all of her clothing to your measurements, for not much more than you'd pay for any upper end swimsuit. The Sweet Coquette Maillot, $102, is actually a two-piece swimsuit, so you can roll it up to show a little more leg.

From Urban Outfitters, the Lux Lamour one-piece, $88, has the cutest ruffles on the legs and the classically flirty sweetheart neckline. And the halter strap is removable, a feature I always appreciate.

You'd think that little sleeves wouldn't work on a bathing suit, but look! The Lux Polka-dot one-piece, $98, is a little less frilly but just as adorable. It's so cute that you could totally throw a skirt over it and wear it to a moderately casual restaurant. OR you could probably figure out a way to turn it into a Minnie Mouse costume for Halloween!




If you're sick of one pieces, here's a cute bikini. The Lux Juliet Ruffle bralette and skirted bottom, $48 and $58, shows a perfectly modest amount of midriff, so you can show off your abs while still rocking the retro vibe. However, I have a strong suspicion that the high-waisted skirt only works on girls with very slim hips, because otherwise your bottom half looks likes it's trapped inside sausage casing. Not flattering. But how
cute is the back of the top?






Delia's also has some cute suits. The Solid Cinched Bandeau One-piece, $33.50, is more of a youthful take on this trend. You got the ruffles, you got the halter, but the leg is cut a little higher and there's plenty of shoulder action. Also, I'm totally into this model's cute braided hair.








The Retro Scoopneck one-piece, $51.99, is sort of hot in a weird way. It might just be the horribly uncomfortable looking position this model is in. But I like the buttons down the front; I think it'd be good for a formal sort of pool party, when you probably aren't actually going to go swimming.

This swimsuit isn't hugely retro, but the pinstripe seersucker fabric is pretty old-fashioned. This shirred underwire tank, $85, did not get good reactions from the boys I showed it to (in order to determine whether the model is Mallory from the Real World Paris-- I think it is), but I think it's cute. And I fricking love the sweet little cashmere cardigan over it, no matter how impractical and illogical that combination is.





Finally, here's another little taste of the retro bathing suit style outside of catalogs.

The Holy Trinity (+ shoes)

Groundbreaking news in the world of online shopping!

Now, you can buy items from Gap, Old Navy, Banana Republic and Piperlime all together, for just $7 flat shipping rate! I don't want to sound like a corporate shill, but c'mon, this is totally awesome. Flat shipping rates are second only to free shipping; I hate feeling like I'm getting punished when I buy more things and have to pay more for shipping. Also, I spend inordinate amounts of time on these four websites, so it's awesome that I can put a swimsuit from the Gap, a skirt from Old Navy, a dress from Banana Republic and a pair of heels from Piperlime into the same shopping bag. I wonder if they all ship together? No matter, 7 bucks is 7 bucks.

So in celebration of this, I present a standout item or two from each store.

The Gap's Sequin Striped Halter Top and Bikini Bottom, $29.62 each. I love the super simple and classic navy and white stripes transformed into something glamorous and fresh through the use of sequins. It could be too much if the bottoms were all sequiny too (and I can just imagine how torn up they would get if you dared to go boogie boarding or something), so I love that the bottoms are solid with the sequin striped ties as an accent.

If you want to continue the bling theme (and I usually do), there's the Old Navy Metallic Sharkskin Skirt, $29.50. I'm not sure if the fabric actually has a sharkskin-like print or texture, but I'm guessing the answer is no. The pleating at the waist and simple shape of the skirt probably makes it very easy to wear; I can imagine just slipping it on with a tank top and sandals for the day, then adding a more sexy halter top and heels to go out at night.

Also from Old Navy, these Brown Suede-Rattan Wedges, $34.50, are the perfect mix of elegant and casual. I like that they're rattan instead of espadrille, which is such a common summer wedge trend that it's practically expected. The rattan is a bit classier, and the shiny leather on the edge of the suede straps adds a hint of glam. Old Navy has had some really great shoes this season, not to mention the classic 2 for $5 classic flip flops. Keep up the good work, Old Navy.

I suspect that you'd have to be super tall, skinny and buff to look good in this Banana Republic Silk Asymmetrical Dress, $175, but those who could pull it off would look stunning. It's an undeniably incredible color: a rich, bright purple that you just don't see everyday. The one-shouldered look and waist sash just add more interest. This is the sort of dress that will bring on an avalanche of compliments from women and come-ons from men-- aka, the best kind of dress.

I used to be really into giant cocktail rings, both because I liked the way they looked when I made big gestures and because I liked knowing that if I were to punch someone in the face I'd do some real damage. The BR Majestic Ring, $54.50, is so over-the-top that you can't take it seriously. It's like something Elizabeth Taylor would wear, right? So you'd have to wear it with a sense of humor and a lot of confidence, and if someone gives you any guff, punch them in the nose with whatever hand this ring is on.

For some reason, Piperlime just isn't doing it for me tonight. It could be that I spent all day in a pair of heels that left giant blisters on both of my little toes, and at the moment I want nothing more than to wear fuzzy socks for the rest of my life. Or maybe they just don't update their selection as much as I wished they did. But I would be remiss if I didn't include something from this usually pretty great shoe and handbag site, so here are the Guess Enthuse heels in black poppy, $100. They're not really my style, and prints on shoes are almost always a bitch to match, but there's something really fun and sexy about these shoes. They remind me of something Carrie Bradshaw would wear, and not in a bad way. I would want to take off the tacky G charm, though.