C-L-E-A-N!

Okay, please tell me I am the only one that can't stand Rachel Zoe's new show? I mean, the woman rocks when it comes to styling (for the most part), but every time she opens her mouth and starts spewing off "I die!!" or "loves!!" Or when she spells it out like Fergie. "D-I-E!!!" I want to light her whole wardrobe on fire and smack her adorable, precious new assistant like he's a whipping post. Really. And don't get me started on the whole zombie hands, and that weird silhouette she always seems to wear. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's an overloaded top half with a super-skinny bottom half capped off by heels that are longer than her head. It makes her look like a bird of prey. Or like a babooshka.

Okay... moving on...

The only thing that can calm me down after a bad Zoecabulary attack is something my dearest Mother and I found this summer:

I'm so obsessed with the Shampoo Fresh Hair Fragrance it's actually a little bit sad. It smells SO GOOD that I even spray it on my hair after I get out of the shower and still have that fresh-clean smell. I'll tell you what, though... this stuff is awesome for college students. Hypothetical situation here: let's just say you run to the gym, you work up a sweat, you look at your watch... and realize that you have five minutes left to get to class. Do you jump in the shower and go to class dripping wet? Do you go straight to class still festering in your own sweat? No. No, you, smart girl (or, you know, boy), spray the shit out of your hair with this product and run across campus. Sure, you are still festering in your own sweat, but no one will be able to tell over the glorious scent of your hair.

Or, in a slightly less gross example, say the hot water in your dorm goes out and you can't take a shower... you get the picture. It's also really nice for dates and snuggling and all that good stuff. Did I mention it gives your hair a nice shine, too?

I am in love with all the the Clean scents. My Mom wears the Provence scent (because we secretly wish we were glamorous French women) and it is like a small cloud of heaven floats by when she comes into the room. I mean, just read the damn description:

The soft, fresh, beautiful scent, captured for centuries by the fine
milled soaps of France, is now a very special perfume by Clean. Reminiscent of
pure soap and water, freshly laundered linens and open blue skies, Clean
Provence is infused with extracts of Provencal Lemon, Cotton Blossom, Rose
Geranium, Sweet Lime and Soft Violet Musk. Clean Provence will pamper you with a delicate, just-lathered fragrance.

That's right. Freshly laundered linens and open blue skies.


Shampoo Fresh Hair Fragrance: $39.00. You can find it at Ulta or, I'm assuming, Sephora. It's also available through their lovely website.

Dorm Room Deodorant

I have some serious issues with smell, and living on a hall where all I can smell is old wood, dirty laundry, and what the Area Director has cooked for dinner is generally unacceptable to me. I've tried everything--febreezing (this includes other human beings as well as rugs and bedspreads), unlit scented candles and room spray. None of the scents really seem to last or go beyond a five foot radius. Light one of my three dozen scented candles, you say? Not in this dorm room... or anywhere on campus for that matter. Most dorms have a no candles for any reason at all policy--a good thing on my campus, considering how we have a rather lengthy history of buildings going up in flames like matchstick houses.

I had all but given up hope. It was a dark future of smelly gym clothes and the overpowering scent of ramen ahead of me, but I was more than willing to singlehandly keep the Febreeze company alive.

Until, of course, I discovered Glade Wisp Flameless Candles.



People, these things are magic.

I can't even tell you how much my life has improved since making that $9.50 investment at Target. I'm fairly sure you can find them for a bit cheaper at CVS or Walgreens, but most of the "starter" packs come with the candle itself and your fragrance of choice. I ended up getting a great deal on Apple Cinnamon because it went on sale after the holidays. It doesn't smell anything like Apple Cinnamon to me, but it's an absolutely delicious smell. I can't even describe it, but it's wonderful.

In case you have the tendency to be an idiot about these things, Glade has set up a really nice demonstration on how the flameless candles work and how you put them together. I suggest making sure you have it set to the lowest setting before you put the fragrance in, because it actually will release a visible cloudpuff of fragrant poison in your face. Just a warning.

All kidding aside, my little flameless candle that could has lasted me about a month set on one of the lower settings. I get compliments on it all the time, which is a nice change from, "Did a bottle of Febreeze explode in here?" The little "candle" holder is made of frosted glass that has some substance to it and doesn't look like the tacky express rolled right on through your room. The only complaint that I have is the imitation candle flicker. It's a little hokey and too orange to be actual candlelight, but I have had several minutes of amusement pushing the thing on and off. So there you go.

Glade Wisp Flameless Candle: $7.99 at Walgreens