Boots: Greatest thing about fall since pumpkin spice lattes

Every fall, without fail, I notice the falling temperatures and get depressed--that first night when I need to grab a cardigan to go over my sundress just kills me. But then, every fall, I think about tall leather boots and I get happy again.

I'm determined that this will be the year I get the "go anywhere, matches anything" black boot, and Nine West has two great options.
The Cookin' Boot, $99, has all the makings of a classic--but is it too boring? I like the modest heel and streamlined calf, but I can't help my love for buckles and straps.
The Tierney boot, $169, is just a touch more exciting, a little more cowgirl. But I do really like that it has a half-zip on the side, as my current boots have lost their shape and slouch more than Katie Holmes in her Joey Potter days. A zipper would, I assume, help the boots keep their structure.

Then there's the side of me that says, "Screw the practical basic! I want the showstopper special occasion boots!"
Just the words "blue suede" give me shivers, so I'm just about shaking thinking about the Alexa boots, $179. I love the cuff that can be flipped up to cover the knee--it's very season 1 Serena Van der Woodson (you know, when she still wore clothes that covered her ass). But to be honest, I have no idea what I would wear with these. I don't think jeans would look right, with the blue on blue, and a skirt might compete for attention. Maybe a snug, rugby-striped sweater dress... or maybe something in a pale shade of yellow? Or grey? Or a leather jacket with studs that mimic the ones on the cuff? I'm stumped, but am dying to take on the challenge.

Steal of the Day

Remember when Rodarte's collection for Target came out, and we were all, "Oh my god, it's going to be so cute! I can't wait to check it out!" And then we went to Target, tried everything on, and were like, "Eh, the dresses that aren't already sold out isn't that cute. Especially not for $45 when I can buy a more practical Mossimo dress for $19.99."

Flash forward to two months later, and there's just a few pieces of the collection left on Target.com. Happily, one of those is the Lace Halter Dress for just $15.74!

Very versatile, classic Little Black Dress. The skirt is a little poofier in person than in this photo, but I like a little poof in a party dress. The lace overlay looks very high-quality and the satin ribbon bow at the neck adds a whimsical note. I would recommend ordering a size up, especially if you have a decent-sized rack.

I'm happy to see that a lot of the other Rodarte for Target dresses are on Ebay for under $50. If you want a LBD with more of an edge than the sweet lace halter dress, bid on the sequin skeleton ribcage dress. This dress is also good if you're sort of anti-Halloween, don't want to wear a real costume but don't want to be a that killjoy at the party. Wear this dress and be a sexy skeleton!
Very quickly, let's look ahead to the next Target Go Collection, designed by Jean Paul Gaultier. The lookbook features a lot of very suspect layering (dude, tattoo shirts do not go with sweet floral dresses. They don't go with anything, because tattoo shirts are fugly to the nth degree), but there are a few pieces I have my eye on. Number one is this trench coat with a nautical twist.

Badass Gladiator Heels

If you haven't already noticed, my taste in shoes tends towards the extremely girly side: I want bright colors, soft fabrics, delicate heels, and bow, if you don't mind. I see something like these J.Crew Lyla Suede Peep-toes, $119.99, and I just swoon.

But lately, I've noticed a shift in shoe trends. Girls have been stomping around in gladiator sandals for a few years now, and it was over a year ago when Carrie Bradshaw spent 80% of the Sex and the City movie wearing those killer Dior heels. True story: I went to see the movie with my mom, and everytime Carrie wore those shoes, my mom would lean over and say, "Ugh, I hate those!" And then afterwards, when we were discussing the movie, she said, "Yeah, I liked it a lot, but Carrie's shoes were so ugly!"

And I admit, when I first saw these last summer I didn't quite get them. But this summer? I'm dying for a pair of over-the-top, aggressive, mean, extreme gladiator sandals for myself. No more ladylike pumps or slingbacks; I need a pair of badass shoes. But--since I'm pretty sure that this trend won't last more than a few more seasons, I don't want to pay more than $100 for a pair. Here are the options I've found:

Nine West Balboa heel, $88.95. I think these are a good place to start because they're not too extreme. The stacked platform and cone heel make them look tough, but Nine West is great at making shoes you can actually walk in. And the gladiator design is almost like a modified T-strap, with just a few extra straps of leather added.

Boutique Nine Vivacity, $69.99. The oversized silver buckles make these shoes stand apart from the crowd; I'd love to wear them with one of those exposed zipper skirts or dresses that are so popular right now.
Athena Platform Pump, $26.80. Forever 21 never met a trend it didn't like, and the gladiator heel is no exception. The leather wrapping around the ankle reminds me of a motorcycle jacket--that's a lot of toughness for such a small price. And that 4.5 inch heel isn't fucking around either.
Miss Sixty Clara Heel, $99.99. From Urban Outfitters, this shoe is probably the closest to the Dior heels Carrie Bradshaw wore. It looks a lot like a bootie with cut-outs, but I think it shows just enough skin to qualify as a heel, instead. I'm obsessed with that architectural cone heel--it's so cool without trying too hard. And the silver studs on the leather are rockin', as well.
Also from Urban Outfitters, the Sweet Life by Dolce Vita Lace Heel, $69.99. Are you a wallflower? Well then, get the fuck out of the way before I smash your toes. That is a five inch heel of pure fierceness right there, and I don't even have the words to describe how hot the corset-like lace-up front is.

Nine West Valenka Boutique 9 Heels, $59.99. These are a little more my style. The contrasting colors of leather are funky but not too wild, and the criss-crossing straps add just enough interest without looking like bondage shoes. I'm not crazy about how high up the back ankle support section goes, though--it's cut like a bootie but the rest of the shoe is decidedly sandal-like.

Modcloth Liz Sandal, $39.99. Here's the gladiator trend with a bit of a vintage twist. The basket-woven leather straps are fun and bohemian, and the caramel brown color is naturally less intimidating than black leather. But these are still guaranteed to get you attention; even if they're not maneater shoes, they're at least man-nibbler shoes, right?

Classic Black Dresses

If you need a bit of a palatte cleanser after all those crazy floral, geometric, and painterly prints, I have just the thing: the Classic Black Dress. I'm not really talking about the Little Black Dress, the one you wear on first dates and clubs with $18 cocktails. I'm thinking more like the dress you wear when you want to look chic, poised, and pulled together-- not just sexy.

I'm completely enamored of this Ports 1961 Stretch Sheath Dress, $381.50. It's the sort of dress that you'll wear again and again, for decades and maybe forever. It's the sort of dress you love so much, and feel so confident in, that you politely request to be buried in it. The little cap sleeves, knee-length skirt, and demure neckline make it appropriate for more formal occasions, but there's also nothing prudish or cold about this dress. The girlish bow will emphasis, or create, a tiny waist, and add a flirty, youthful touch. This is such a ladylike dress... and did I mention that it's 50% off?



If you're not ready for Ports 1961, try Bailey 44. This Clipper Dress, $78, is a simple shift dress with some sporty details-- like if Twiggy spent summers playing tennis in Maine. The little clips under the bust are subtle but very chic, and help avoid the straight-up-and-down look that sometimes comes with wearing shift dresses. I also like the sophisticated boatneck top-- pair it with a loose chignon and some dangly earrings, and you'll be the personification of effortless grace.


This Loeffler Randall Double Stud Belt Dress, $223, has a definite edge, perfect for the girl who can go straight from a four course dinner to a dive bar. The shape brings to mind a basic t-shirt dress, but the black wool gives it an upscale twist. The double belt is fierce but not in-your-face, and takes this dress from "nice, but forgettable" to "hotter than Hades."


One of the best things about a great black dress is how instantly it conjures up Old Hollywood glamour. It'd be impossible to wear this Modcloth Wishing on a Star Dress, $157.99, and not feel like Grace Kelly reincarnated. That butter-colored sash is the perfect compliment to the slightly shiny black fabric, and the faux-knot at the hip is a nice touch. This dress is so lovely that you might only be able to wear it once, because everyone will instantly remember the last time they gushed all over your timeless style.




This dress is so on sale it's sick: originally $625, and now $187.50! You can't afford not to buy the Barron Duquette Beatrice Dress! You will never go wrong with a Grecian-inspired dress, because a trend that predates modern civilization will always come back into style. 100% silk, this dress has some incredible draping on the top and pleating on the skirt, with a slightly-contrasting band at the waist. I love how the back is draped too, but just a few inches lower than the front: so sexy. The little subtitle Shopbop gave this dress is, "Yes, we'd love to dance," which I think sums it up nicely.

Reinventing the basic black heel

You might that have noticed that, in shoes, my tastes tend to run towards the whimsical, the detailed, the slightly out of the ordinary. Life's too short to wear boring shoes, right? But then being too stubborn to invest in a good pair of black pumps leaves you forced to wear brown heelss with a black dress, since your one pair of black heels are way too open-toed to wear with tights, and it's too cold to go bare legged. I love my Claire Satin Slide Heels, $16.99, from Target, but I can't get away with having them as my only black shoe. (I do have a lot of love for these shoes, since they were my first pair of real heels and I learned how to walk in them. I wore them to cotillion, to English AP cocktail party, to multiple weddings. I bought them almost four years ago but they're so classic that Target still sells them, both in stores and online.)

So after last nights brown shoes/black dress fiasco (not really-- no one noticed), I decided I needed to get a pair of hot black heels. Here's what I'm looking for: preferably close-toed and heeled so I can wear tights, simple enough to match almost anything, but with some element that will make other girls look down and say, "those shoes are totally fucking fierce!" I'm thinking mary jane, t-strap, just something beyond a basic pump.

These are pretty much exactly what I'm looking for, but I can't buy them because they don't have my size and Danielle owns them, and knowingly buying the same pair of shoes as your roommate is just, like, against the rules of feminism. And they also have a little peeptoe, but they call it a "keyhole" so I think it's small enough to get away with tights. The Report Signature "Dita" Mary Jane Pumps, $149.25, are maybe the hottest shoes I've ever seen in my life. If you wear these shoes people will think you're either a really freaky librarian or a really classy burlesque dancer, both of which I want to be (or, at least, want people to think I am).

These shoes aren't quite as hot, and way too expensive, but I find t-straps are way too rare in the shoe world. How is it fair that there are Uggs and Crocs everywhere, but you have to search high and low for a good t-strap pump? The black patent Engage heels by Charles David, $250, also come in a burgundy color that I like so much better. See, that's the problem with shopping for back shoes: if they come in another color, I always want the cobalt or aubergine or jade version.

These Chinese Laundry Attitude shoes, $70, don't have much of a wow factor, but the cut-out on the side is interesting and they'll match every single thing in your closet. I'm also a big fan of the 1/2 inch hidden platform, since you can pretend you're just naturally that tall. Oh, but they come in dark teal! I want the dark teal! It'll match absolutely nothing but I want the dark teal!

Oh, these Report Bijou shoes, $152.10, are so vampy I'm getting a little flushed just looking at the photo online. I like pretty much anything with corset-style tie-up detailing: shirts, underwear, dresses, pants, whatever. These shoes would also be good if you're into toe cleavage, which I'm not really. I don't have anything against toe cleavage, but I sort of don't think it's a real thing we need to talk about and want to create. It's just your toes getting smushed together-- to compare those to real cleavage is just sort of insulting to boobs.

Here's another from the Report label, which I've kind of fallen in love with in the course of writing this post. They're out of my price range, but if I got a job and saved part of a few paychecks I could swing it; contrast that to, say, Manolo Blahniks which I could only afford if I saved ten paychecks and did buy any food for a month. For just $152.10 you can get these beyond fabulous Celine pumps with a sequin overlay. Sequins can be dicey-- you don't want to look like you're going to be performing in the Tarrytown Community Theater revival of Cabaret. But black sequins are subtly glitzy; you won't look like a disco ball but you will catch everyone's eyes. But they also come in red and gold at Zappos, silver and purple for $169, and red and purple for $84.50 at Macy's. I love black sequins, but when there are red sequined pumps, you have to ask yourself, "What would Dorothy do?" and go for the red. Yes, everyone you see will make Wizard of Oz references, but they'll also think you are exceedingly fetching and playful.

You couldn't wear these with tights, but I really like these Steve Madden Seducce (not a typo, just a stupid spelling) Black heels, $19.99. Also, they're really practical because the t-strap ensures that your foot is staying in the shoe. There's no slingback strap slipping out or your foot stepping out of the front. And they're nice and minimal, so you can wear something a little more detailed and your shoes won't compete for people's attention.

Two things I'm not sure about are suede and pointy-toes (they make your feet look kind of scary and long!), but I like these Steve Madden Arouse pumps, $29.99. The combination of the two is sexy, I think. I know that I would constantly be sitting, crossing my legs, and touching my soft shoes, and encouraging cute boys to do the same.

I posted the red version of these shoes a few posts back, but the black version is also hot. From Isaac Mizrahi for Target, the Black Chris Mary-Jane pumps, $29.99, are the sort of shoes secretaries who sleep with their bosses wear. In a good way.

I like the Kenneth Cole sublabel Unlisted because some of the shoes have a bright red sole, Christian Louboutin-rip off style. I don't really believe in designer knock-offs, but I wouldn't be made if I was wearing these shoes and some stranger thought they were real Louboutins. These "Stylish" pumps, $45, have an awesome fake crocodile embossed upper. I like that the croc leather and red sole are very sex kitten, but the general shape of the shoe is very demure.


These shoes are super demure. They should call them Coquette shoes. They're called the Charming shoe, $44.99, which is a little uncreative. These shoes might be a little too sweet, with the pleated satin and the ribbon and the tulle and the bow. But I think it could all work if you were wearing something almost, but not quite, as sweet and girly.